Matsuda
by Mew Draiku
Summary: I actually wrote a Death Note fic! Amazing! Anyway, just a short oneshot about Matsuda's thoughts during the Kira case. Fear my crappy titling skills!


Mew: So. Matsuda is my favorite character of Death Note, and I just bought Death Note 12 today, so I had to write this.

Draiku: It's short. Really short.

Mew: Whatever. Anyway, basically it's about Matsuda's thoughts and whatnot during the whole Kira case. He doesn't get enough love. Anyone reading this, go write a Matsuda fic! I command ye!

Disclaimer: Mew Draiku doesn't own Death Note. Holy shit, it wasn't Yu-Gi-Oh for once! The Apocalypse is coming! –screams-

WARNING: Contains EXTREME spoilers. For those who haven't seen the final episode or novel of Death Note, turn away! Turrrn awaaaay! Also, my titles suck.

Matsuda

_Light Yagami…Soichiro's son? No wonder he's so intelligent,_ Matsuda thought after meeting Light for the first time. Even L thought that Light would be able to become the next L when he passed on. Matsuda thought very highly of Light, and loved working with him. Most of the other members on the Kira case thought that he was immature for his age, and not serious for the job. Light, however, was different. Though he ignored Matsuda most of the time, at least he was nice to him.

Matsuda began to believe that he and Light had become friends, though deep down he knew that Light wasn't interested in him at all. Sometimes when he went home, all he could think about was Light—Light and his wonderful voice, face, body. The thoughts not only saddened Matsuda, but they confused him as well. Why did he have thoughts about Light like this? But what confused him even more were the dreams.

Of all the nightmares in his life, the dreams about Light were the worst. They were wonderful, but horrible. They were perfect, yet twisted in every way. Sometimes they'd admit their love to each other in the dreams, sometimes they'd hold hands, and often they would have sex. Why, Matsuda wondered, did he think of Light in that way? Why had he grown so infatuated with the boy?

A while passed, and everything changed. L died, and Light took his place. He seemed glad about it. Matsuda was happy about not only working with him but under him, supporting him in every way possible. As they days passed by while they worked together, Matsuda accepted his thoughts about Light as a part of him. He was in love with Light, and there wasn't much he could do about it.

Matsuda didn't mind Misa, even though she was with Light. It wasn't her fault that Light chose her, was it? It was Light's decision, not Misa's. Matsuda forced himself to not hate Misa for such a petty thing, and actually ended up befriending her. He was constantly jealous of her, though, but didn't let that get in his way.

Whenever Matsuda went home, he didn't just sit in front of the TV and watch sitcoms, he thought about how L would accuse Light of being Kira. Of all things, Light was not Kira. Matsuda firmly believed this.

Then Near came along, as well as Mello. Matsuda didn't know quite why, but he didn't like Near that well. It was possibly because the boy—whoever he was—was arrogant. However, he could care less about Mello. After Soichiro's death, Matsuda was further convinced that Light wasn't Kira. What sick-minded person would kill his own father to continue killing others?

As time passed by, Matsuda became more and more convinced that Light wasn't Kira. The kid was too kind and intelligent to be someone so horrible.

Then, the 28th of January came. Matsuda knew that on this day, Light would be proven innocent of being Kira. Someone else would be Kira, and the two of them, Light and Matsuda, would continue to pursue that person.

Everything went wrong.

First, no one died even after X-Kira, as Near called him, wrote their names down into the Death Note. Second, the only name that wasn't written was Light's.

Light was Kira, and Matsuda was crushed.

The person he'd followed and admired through all these years had lied to him. The person he'd loved had lied to the entire world while killing people in the process, including his own father.

And now, Light was trying to write down Near's name into a scrap of the Death Note. Matsuda could take it no longer. He shot Light's hand, preventing him from writing any more. In a desperate attempt, Light tried to write with his own blood. Matsuda aimed the gun and shot again, and again.

_Why?_ was all Matsuda could think while he did it. _Why?_ And as he dashed towards Light, aiming the gun at his head, and yelling that he would kill him, his heart fractured. His arm jerked to the left, and just barely missed Light's head. He couldn't do it; he couldn't kill Kira. He couldn't kill Light.

Matsuda knew that Light died hating him. He knew that Light blamed him for his death. Strangely, though, he continued to love Light. He even began to realize that Light really had made a difference in the world. Had Kira existed for a bit longer, maybe, just maybe, the world would be perfect.

End

Mew: Stop thinking that it sucks. I wrote this at like four in the morning. –shot-

Draiku: At least you finished it. –points to all the other unfinished stories-

Mew: Yeah… Anyway, I know that I should be working on Badass Boyfriend, but I had to write this. Like, desperately. So…yeah. Hope you liked it.

Yoko: As always, please take some time to R&R! It lets us know that Mew's doing a good job. Otherwise, she sucks. –innocent grin-


End file.
